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I haven't been with anyone serious in a while, and being with Mike is exciting.
Not that he has a revolving door of ladies in his life, but the O’Children have met ex-girlfriends in the past and he doesn’t want them to get attached to someone unless she’s really going to stick around. Meeting his kids is a Thing That Is Definitely Going To Happen. In preliminary discussions about this, O’Boyfriend and I agreed “after we’ve been dating three months” sounded like a good, arbitrary date.
So the first question wasn’t thing isn’t up in the air anymore; both of us are feeling — based on the best information we have about each other right now — that we are going to be long-term. By three months into a relationship, you’ve stopped being polite and you’ve started to get real, so to speak.
Because the reality is that there’s a big difference between my generalized feeling of “I love kids” and spending actual time with my partner’s actual children and building an actual relationship with them.
Because Sara is right about kids needing continuity and structure.
And even though it had never occurred to me to dive into that end of the dating pool before, I’m cool with it. I’ve wanted kids of my own since I was a little girl pushing around my dolls in strollers.
(In fact, Le Ex-Boyfriend’s lack of interest in having children was one of the reasons I tossed him to the curb.) That O’Boyfriend is an engaged, responsible father who has actually been to the American Girl Store of his own volition is attractive to me.
This is a great place to be in and I want to enjoy it while I’m here.
Feelings may be advancing fast, but actions — especially actions involving young’uns — don’t have to advance as quickly.
“But it’s better for the kiddos if you’re past the honeymoon stage and you’re somebody they can bet is gonna stick around.
Kids need continuity and structure.” A year would be too long for both O’Boyfriend and I.
I had the fantasy in my head that a lot of heterosexual, child-wanting women probably have: I’ll date someone single and unattached, we’ll get married, and pump out a couple of squirts together. Divorcées with a kid or two are all over the dating pool.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating