Avoid dating single moms

was over Bloody Marys and fried potatoes at Vinegar Hill House in Brooklyn. We bonded about our New England roots, and delighted in throwback slang, like ‘wicked’ and ‘grinder.’ I insisted he take the leftovers home. Alas, transitioning into a more conventional family structure was about to be one of the hardest decisions of my life. I guess I didn’t belong in that Facebook group anymore. What would it really mean if she started to call him Daddy?

I just want a friend and a companion and someone who I have chemistry and intellectual compatibility with.

I am seriously at the point of giving up on the whole dating thing…

” I think about bringing Hazy home from the hospital. She came a month early and was so fragile yet so fierce.

When I wasn’t trying to fatten her up or lull her to sleep under the warm October sun, I’d just gaze at my baby… Those first few months of her life were powerful and miraculous — as was the entire road toward motherhood.

Single Mom is still in my soul, and I’m not ready to say goodbye to her. But I am ever so grateful for the way parenthood has unfolded so far. Alyssa’s first post about having Hazel, and a thoughtful quote about single parenting.

This road-less-traveled to motherhood has rewarded me with so many beautiful and surprising gems.

At the time, when I was 33, I blamed her for this, thinking that if she liked me more, she’d make a greater effort. What I didn’t know then is that kids suck up every second of free time you’ve got, and that you have to work extra hard to create me-time, much less couple-time.

Ultimately, all I wanted from that single mom was to hook up, because that’s all I felt she could give me.

We watched her crawl for the first time on the floor of a hotel lobby — while on a magazine assignment for me. Those early stages of dating that are often filled with drunken nights and romantic drifting were pretty much impossible for us. I could also say, “One more pair of socks to pick up and also, um, the will to move my body for, um, sex?! ” It’s not a single mom or working mom or married mom thing — parenting can sometimes feel crazy amazing crazy hard.

Whatever the sacrifices were, we liked what we had. Many times a day — especially now that we all live together in an apartment in Brooklyn — I ask myself, “Am I still a single mom?

Which is why I had mixed emotions when things with S. I didn’t need him around, but I sure wanted him around. By date four, we all went to a Dolly Parton concert with his parents and siblings in Maine. I never had time to shop for lacy bras, let alone shave my legs or wear glowy makeup. It was a little surprising, however, when she started calling him “Da-Da” around 11-months-old. I’m constantly carrying Hazel, the stroller, her scooter, her helmet, our groceries (aka: waffles, Talenti and wine), my coat, her jean jacket, my pocketbook, her pocketbook, her babies, my keys if I can find them, etc. Now I can say, “Thank goodness I have a second set of hands!

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