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He made some very valid points- we saw each other multiple times a week, we talked every day, we liked each other, we had met each others parents, so what exactly was my problem?
I fed him the usual crap, the sort that had been fed to me by guys so many times before: ‘I like things how they are, why mess with everything?
I knew that I controlled everything and it was really hard to be attracted to a guy that would let that happen.
I’m not saying I wanted him to play mind games, but a little restraint and confidence would have gone a long way.
I’ve been there, my friends have been there, and it’s so frustrating and makes zero sense.
I mean, you’re with this guy, you’re spending a lot of time together, you are in a relationship in every single way except for the fact that you’re not technically in a relationship.
Eric does a great job explaining what might be going on in your guy’s mind but I have some insights that, although from a female perspective, will be of great value as well. The experience caused me to completely shut down emotionally.
I was aloof, I was hard to read, I didn’t get too close, I was present but never available, essentially, I was a guy (in the psychological sense anyway! My ‘guy’ behavior caused the actual guys was seeing to take on the ‘girl role’ and they were always way more into it than I was (this was also due to my aforementioned heartbreak which rendered me numb).
It was time to have ‘the talk.’ He brought up the subject casually at first, wondering if he could start introducing me as his girlfriend.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating