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I believe if two people are meant to end up together, they will ultimately find their way to or back to each other.However, as a relationship researcher, I recognize and sympathize that fate is not always in our favor.Not only is it exhausting, repetitive and sometimes taxing, it can be frustrating.

Others would say, “Absolutely not; the exes of friends are always off limits.” Still, others maintain that an ex is an ex, and once they’ve moved on, the subsequent choices he or she makes are no longer the interest of the former partner.

I prefer to redistribute some relationship responsibility to fate, and what is meant to be will be.

It is far worse for the friend to learn about the relationship via another party or from social media. It is important to be upfront with your friend, but be forewarned: Even though romantic feelings may no longer exist, your friend may still feel betrayed. I never said it would be easy, but it may be worth it in the long run.

In many ways, dating the ex of a friend is a “damned if you do damned if you don’t” situation.

Do you pursue her or do you decide it’s not worth the risk of losing your friend?

Some would argue that this decision comes down to whether you choose to listen to the devil on your right or the angel on your left.Make sure you both agree what this relationship is, what it could be become and what you both want.If you are in agreement, it’s time to break the news to the friend (your overlapping social network will also be grateful once this step is complete).Before viscerally responding “no” to breaking the guy/girl code, hear me out.Let’s set the stage: Your friend was dating an amazing girl.I know of many examples of people who have been in this exact situation.

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