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You kind of expect this attitude from governments the world over.But in Ireland everyone expects to have to ask landlords/banks/public offices two or even three times to get anything done. They’ll get to it eventually.” Yes, the Irish are all very relaxed.It’s better to have nothing planned and be adaptable than disappointed when your plan doesn’t work out.” For a moment I was caught up in the bald-faced hippy dippy live and let live laid back way of this. And that’s why the delivery of most services in Ireland function in a manner kindly referred to by military personnel the world over as a complete “goat rodeo”.

This means that not only are they still in use here, but some sick bastard is hard at work designing new ones to meet the latest design fads. I spoke with a sausage vendor at one of the local farmer’s markets and he told me proudly that they make their sausage with only the finest pork, and oats. And once you’ve tackled that problem, perhaps you could attempt to hang the maps right side up.

When you ask the Irish about it, they agree it’s backwards assed, and not very good. (Again, see #1 below) Number Three: Bad Sausage I may live in Dublin, but at heart I’m from the American South. So when it became clear to me that we were moving to Dublin, I thought, “They have Irish Breakfast there, don’t they? Me thinks, I’ll like this move, or least be able to cope.” Then, in May, when we came to find a place to live, I had some Irish sausage. And it was (and remains to this day) relentlessly bland and unseasoned. Again, this is just accepted, tolerated, and assumed by the locals.

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You only pay for what you use, the length of call is up to you, there is no set time limit and calls can be as long or as short as you like.

You can even connect to more than one woman during the call if you wish!Here’s a list of the top five things that grate on me after a month of expatriate living in The Republic of Ireland.Number Five: The Cat Litter As with last week’s post, those of you without cats won’t get this.By phoning the “09” number advertised above you can connect straight away with the woman of your choice.The service will be billed to you by your telecoms provider and will appear on your normal bill as a simple call to a 09 number.There’s no reward for excellence, so why bother going the extra mile?

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