dating brasil - Selling yourself on a dating site

When you start working through the beliefs in your head, you’ll see how much your own internal angst is limiting you.The pain you’re causing yourself – there’s another, far less painful route if only you’d start considering your options.

selling yourself on a dating site-17

When I wasn’t in a relationship, it was like I was passing time between Mr Unavailables and assclowns, hungry to fill up the ‘vacancy’ left by the previous guy.

I craved love, intensely sought out validation, and privately lived with a black cloud over my head while I outwardly smiled at everyone.

I’d forget I’d stirred things up and instead focus on the leaving me because I’m unlovable bit.

We can sell ourselves short before we even do a damn thing because we’re already selling ourselves short in our head, telling ourselves negative messages, not believing in our capabilities, and believing that the answer to our problems is in someone else.

When I became ill with the immune system sarcoidosis in 2003, I was so distracted by the ‘guy with a girlfriend’ that even though I should have been focusing on my health, I was more interested on focusing on him as my only option! This is how I ended up in a number of half hearted relationships and yawning my way through many dates.

It was only when I ditched him that it occurred to me to start fighting for my survival and opening up my options. I don’t think I’ve admitted this before, but the last chunk of my relationship with the guy with a girlfriend, I think I wanted to win more than I wanted him.

It felt like a slap in the face and I smarted from her words but they stuck in my head for a very long time and in the end, I came to recognise the significance and truth of her words once my pride had settled down.

It’s true – I used to live like my only option was whatever guy I was seeing at the time and it was more important to be in a relationship and pursue this feeling of love and validation that I was looking for, than it was to be in a quality relationship.

But I had to be right so I sold myself short for several more months because of my pride.

Tags: , ,