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Part of the draw comes from the feeling of relapsing without actually doing it; a psyche that is still too strongly tempted by addiction can rationalize anything, including staying with a partner (or multiple partners) who are using drugs.
The 33-year-old man who studiously stayed away from dating for the first six months re-entered the relationship scene as a fully committed and engaged member of his treatment program.
But his first forays into sober dating were disastrous; he dated “messed up speed freaks” for five years, eventually coming to understand that even without a drink or drug in his hand, the lure of spending time with people who were on drugs themselves was attractive – even, to use his words, “sexy.” Top of Page Why is the pull so strong?
The official policy of Alcoholics Anonymous (as laid out in the , a sex coach points out that substance abuse warps how people see themselves, and others around them; by the time they get to recovery, people have no idea of who they are.
Without that sense of identity, it is all but impossible to form balanced, healthy connections with other people.
For anyone going through treatment, relapse is always a possibility.
Being involved with someone for whom that possibility also exists greatly increases the chance of the two people falling back into the same habits – only this time, together.
A person in recovery can still well remember the tension and drama of a relationship affected by substance abuse.
For all the arguing and threats of breaking up, there was an edge, a thrill of being in that kind of arrangement.
People in recovery need to take their recovery seriously, and that means not becoming obsessed with the idea of finding a partner at any cost.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating